I haven't been doing very well lately when it come to my illness.
Those who've been watching me for a longer period of time know that I've been very ill since 2011.
I got my diagnosis almost immediately, though I can't say it out loud on the internet because of reasons. Let's call it illness XXX for now.
Illness XXX is an illness which shouldn't last too long, a year should be the max. Once you've recovered from illness XXX, the chances of it coming back aren't all that high. Sure, it can return, but you can stay healthy your entire life too.
But after one year, my illness hadn't gone away at all. It was away for a few months, after lasting for 18 months, and its return was destroying: I had to quit university and won't be able to enroll again for the next year either. Dreams postponed.
My illness lasted and got worse. The thought occurred on me: what if illness XXX isn't the correct diagnosis?
Yesterday, I got the answer: it is indeed not the correct diagnosis. I turn out to have illness YYY (again, I can't mention its name on the internet).
Illness YYY is chronic and will never go away. Illness YYY can make my life impossible to live in the future. A good amount of people with illness YYY spend the rest of their lives in hospital.
I CAN get free from the symptoms of illness YYY. That would be great. But at the moment, my body is not reacting to my medication at all, which makes the future a lot less bright.
I've feared the diagnosis of illness YYY since 2013, and now my nightmare came true.
Great start of the year.
Hope you're all doing better than I am...